Anger

Anger is nothing more than an outward expression of hurt, fear and frustration

Red is associated with anger, for some reason so is love. That’s because anger and love go hand in hand. You either love too much or too less. We are always taught to be happy, and reduce anger. Like any emotion, anger can also be addictive. Acquiring the balance of these feelings is something we strive to achieve. Anger can either fuel you or destroy you. Its up to you, on what path you choose to take it forward. Expression of anger is very important. So, here I am trying to express out all this anger vented up inside me. 

Anger – feeling or showing strong annoyance, displeasure, or hostility; full of anger.

We always try to keep away from people who show anger, it has been portrayed as a quality to keep away from. There are two ways it comes as an outlet – anger on the outside and anger on the inside. When there is no way to express it outside, we tend to transform this anger on ourselves, making us a bitter person. The most difficult thing to do is, being kind to oneself. Though I have so much anger vented up inside me, I try my best to be kind on the outside. But, its not the same on the inside. Though we frown up on people showing anger, we fail to understand what caused this within. After all, it is nothing more than an outward an outward expression of hurt, fear and frustration. 

I am afraid to express my anger. Sometimes this world seems to be filled with hatred and propaganda. We kill each other in the name of something we created ourselves. It hurts, when we use politics and religion, when a child has lost its innocence. We are ready to blame one community to another, we show our rage by demeaning one another. If you really feel that anger, and the pain a child must have gone through, must you not be angry at the people who did it? Must you not feel for the child? Must you not feel for the care the child needs? It hurts bad, to take away that innocence. But we play very dangerous games, instead. Create a political and religious scenario out of it. We call ourselves civilized, but are we really? Men using women for their lustful needs. Taking advantage in the name of friendship/love. Women using men for their needs, playing with emotions. If that is what you need, why not be clear about it? We play with emotions, that could break someone very badly. We boast of our moral values, yet mend it based on our conveniences.

I crave for emotional and physical intimacy. I want nothing more than to be acknowledged, that I exist to them. Sometimes, it gets tired to be just a choice to others and not prioritized. They notice that we show our anger, but they don’t understand they caused it. One small act of kindness can go long way. It often gets tiresome with so many rejections and betrayals, that we get filled with nothing more than a deep rage. And we show this rage upon oneself. There are times where I want this whole world to burn to its ashes, reborn again, only to burn again to its ashes. And at times, I feel this world doesn’t deserve any kindness. I truly don’t understand how can a person break someone so badly, in the name of love. Perhaps that is why anger and love share the same colors. Not a remorse for what they have done. So many things hurt me and scare me. I always used to believe love triumphed over everything. But I really doubt that anymore, in this materialistic world.

I wanted to express all the anger built up in me. But expressing pain and hurt is not that easy. Sometimes words are not enough to complete them. Maybe a shoulder to cry upon, will tell a lot more than words. This leads to nothing more than building deeper walls around us. I am sorry if someone made you feel less. Fuck you to everyone who made me give up on my dreams, who made me give up on love, who made me feel I am unlovable, who made me feel less of a man, who made me feel worthless. A big fuck you to everyone, who broke someone and for breaking their trust.  

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